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The story is as old as it is true. Not only can moms feel blue after giving birth, it’s very common. Anxiety, fear and even hormones contribute to what’s technically termed postpartum depression and the affects of these symptoms can be debilitating. It’s difficult getting through the day when you don’t know when you’re going to be attacked by the next wave of hopelessness, confusion or panic. But take a deep breath and relax. You truly aren’t alone.
Realize this isn’t a disorder. In fact, it’s quite normal. As many as 80% of the moms out there have experienced some form of these baby blues. Pregnant women are used to being over sensitive and crying for no reason, but add anger, restlessness, irritability and low self-esteem to the mix and you’ve got a volatile concoction. But these emotions aren’t wrong. It’s important that you recognize these feelings and address them as best you can.
Keep your doctor informed. Most cases of postpartum distress (baby blues) are mild, but sometimes the symptoms are more severe and last for longer periods of time. PPD, or postpartum depression can affect not only your emotions, but sleeping patterns and appetites as well. And in a small percentage of cases, some women feel so helpless that they are suicidal and even have hallucinations. These cases are rare, but it’s important to you and your child’s health that you communicate with your healthcare provider. Medication is an option. In nearly 85% of postpartum depression or psychosis cases suffering women are relieved by this choice.
Your doctor can also help you to get in touch with other mothers who are feeling the things you are. Support groups can be very successful at mending your sorrows. The objectivity of outsiders can help you work through some of your more difficult feelings. Sometimes sharing is easier when it’s with a stranger who can empathize with your situation.
Above all else, remember to pamper yourself, and I’m not talking about disposable Pampers. You can enlist outside help—your mom, mother-in-law, sister, best friend and anyone else who’s interested. Schedule regular visits so that you can get in a peaceful shower or nap. Take the time to paint your toenails or give yourself a facial. These age-old pick-me-ups can be lifesavers.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Now is the time to use your support system. Talk to your partner about your feelings. About two weeks after the birth of my daughter, the panic set in. What on earth was I thinking when I convinced my husband that it was time to have a baby? I wasn’t ready for this and I sure as heck didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was to change my daughter’s diaper whenever she started to crank and if that didn’t work, I could try to feed her. Frankly, I felt overwhelmed by my new responsibility.
By nature I knew I needed to talk about my feelings. I let my family and friends know that I was freaking out and they were there to support me. My husband received countless calls to his pager in the weeks that followed. My mom called daily to see how I was doing. Even our birth class instructor got a couple worry calls in the middle of the day when I couldn’t get a hold of any one else.
Reach out. Your family and friends want and expect you to. You’d want your loved ones to lean on you when they need, so don’t deny yourself the strength of your support system.
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